Tag Archives: relationship

Coming out to MUM, Finally!

I should have known she knew more than I thought

But it never crossed my mind that she did

It never crossed my mind that I would be the one ‘’outing’’ myself to her

So it came as a surprise to me when I told her that it was true

Yes mum I live with a girl! I exclaimed

That’s right,  am in love with her too and have been for a while now

The words that followed were no surprise to me

What did I expect? Of course there was going to be a melt down

The mixture of reprieve and  misery crammed my heart

I had finally told her the truth……But the malevolent things she was saying?

I adored, my mother

I was convinced that all my life she would always support me

Well, I was about to be proved wrong, there were some conditions to the sustain

As I listened and defended my queen

I must say I was surprised that I never dropped the phone or disconnected

On and on we went………. A shouting march

The days to follow would be the hardest ………….

(to be continued)

If only it came with a disclaimer!

When did it become this hard?

Why was there no one to tell me?

That it is only grand for hours and sucks for days

That it does not guarantee me from the empty feeling?

 

Then maybe I would ran

Ran from the feelings that distress me

Ran from the feelings that craft me in to a feeble and vulnerable shell

Ran and never look back

If only it came with a disclaimer

 

Every morning as I open my eyes and look forward to a new day

Every evening as I look forward to rest my tired body

My prayer is to have the person I love by my side

To comfort me when am down

To understand me when am being illogical

To feel the emptiness in my heart with love

………if it only it came with a proviso

Then maybe I would have ran

 

I bundle and cry myself to sleep

The void in my heart so evident despite being so close

I look forward to the embrace that never is

I look forward to the comfort that rarely is

And I embrace the pain, the self doubt

And I realize I have been swindled

If only it came with a manual

Then all I would do is ran

And never Fall

 

Is it ALWAYS this Hard?

Ever looked forward to something

Just to learn that it was overrated

To learn it was not as promised?

All my life I have pretended to be

In Loving relationships

But it has always been for show

To my family, to my friends

But as it would have

I met this girl that i madly fell for

There is a catch though

We have no long evenings spent together cuddling

If any, they are scarce and spread,

We don’t have evenings full of laughter

On the contrary, if we are together any of the evening

All we do is fight

Who said that Love is all that matters?

Is it worth?

The tears?

The pain?

The mistrust?

Is it always this Hard?

Am I missing something?

Too Much for Me

I got this feeling, this feeling that she is selling herself short,

If you ask me she deserves better,

Yeah, what do I know about boy friends?

I cant even maintain one for more than a few weeks

Maybe that is it, most gals hold on to men becauses society expects them to

But I refuse to sell my self short

I refuse to be in that loveless relationship

I refuse to be in that stiffling kind of tie

Because I know I deserve much more

Much more than the society can ever understand

The society has never lived a minute of my life

So Society can as well go and f*** itself

Because I refuse to live by its strangling expectations!

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