Sometimes its not easy to keep tabs of what you have been upto, recently i have found myself being reminded several times to do important things which I had forgotten
So the next thing i thought was if i could forget seemingly important information, what will happen to my experiences when i hit lets say maybe fifty?
My clarity of the events that happened to me in my teens has dwindled, but despite this, some are as clear as if they just happened today…I still remember how hard my heart was beating when I first saw another set of boobs that were not mine….and they were not just from a random girl…oh no! they had to be Nanes!
Nanes was a year ahead of me in high school, my best friend, tutor (not that I needed the extra lessons, but I would have done everything be in her majesty’s presence) and my all time crush.
Let me backtrack and tell you about me and Nanes. I had known Nanes for about a year but we had only been friends for about 2 months when i really began to notice that I had developed feelings for her. It wasn’t until we went home for the school holidays and she began to talking about this guy that lived close to her that I got absolutely heartbroken but I had no clue why.
It took me about two weeks to come to terms with the fact that I had developed a strong attraction for this girl. It wasn’t a surprise that I liked her because she is a girl but because I never really looked at her as more than just a friend before. She eventually stopped talking to that guy but every time she sayed anything about a guy I would start to feel that green eyed monster creep up.
I knew what being a lesbian meant, but I also knew these were immoral, way ward girls that would get expelled from school if they were caught, therefore I did not understand why I felt the way I did..I prayed and prayed; wished away my feelings but nothing I could do would change the way I felt and eventually I decided just to accept but no one could know not even Nanes.
I guess you can say that we were typical best friends however, sometimes I felt like there was so much more there. We hugged WAY too much. We sometimes stared into each other’s eyes, there was way too much touching, in hindsight, I was just over my head and illusions of us. I knew that I had NO chance with her but there was a small, very tiny ounce of determination to get her to see how great we would be together despite knowing deep down she didn’t feel like I did. One day it just happened we had come from a Geography tour from one of the falls and we had to go through a thicket and climb some terrain to exit the river valley. unbeknown to us, the thickets had some safari ants and they got into our clothes. For those who are familiar with these ants, they climb on people using the inner side of the clothes and only start to bite once they get to the end…when we realised we were infested…we had to get out of our clothes in a hurry…decency be dammed!