I know she still loves me, I know she hasn’t left me but I have never been this sad. I have never felt this much emptiness ,I try to fill it with books, movies but nothing works I just end breaking down. All I want is to hear are her assurances, Her declaration of her love to me. Is it too much to ask?
I check my phone every other minute, during the day, at night, I write to her, though no replies are forth coming But I have to believe that she wants to, she feels as bad, She just can’t contact me, not right now anyway….this believe keeps me sane but for how long?
This is just the first day How am I to take the next months, years? Just how?……does it get any better?
Ask me again why I love you? So I can say: With you I feel unabridged without you my heart have an unoccupied hovel. I love you for you… Your smile, your laugh. I love you for the stupid things you do. I love to see you when you first awake in the morning. I just love the splendour of your body with no shirt on. Actions speak louder than words, this I know. Without a doubt in my mind or any flaw you may find … Ask me again Why I’m with you?, Why I care about you and do know that it all comes down to three simple words “I Love You”
I hear your voice my heart flatters
I see you and the heart takes a leap
You look at my direction and I liquefy on the spot
So much delightful torture
Knowing I can never have you
Or I may never know how it could be
Since there is too much to lose
Too much to risk
being of my kind? I will never discern for certain
So for now I enjoy the torment
Hoping I make you feel the same
I just love listening to you talk
but you have me attending meetings I don’t need to
Just to be close to you
I see you hug others and I wish I was them
I watch you smile to others and assume you are smiling at me
I allow you to fill my head every night before I lay to sleep
And in my dreams we do things to each other
Only to wake and realize the flimsy smoke
Oh such delicious torture
I think the problem is that people feel that they should be able to forget or get over things. When you love someone and give them a piece of your heart, I don’t believe you ever get it back.
You will always love them and care about them, the solution is time. Time makes it easier to look at it level headed and realize that although you love and care about them, the relationship wasn’t meant to be. It didn’t work out for a reason, because the two of you were not compatible.
Whether that’s because he/she had no ambition in life and you did, or because he/she treated people like crap and you were caring, you aren’t compatible for whatever those reasons are.
I still think about my broken love, I still love Her and I know I ALWAYS will. I will never forget about the times we shared. she hurt me and I know, I forgiven and taken her back so many times only for me to return to being the same insecure miserable person, I know I have to dig my heels and move on with my life.
I have spent many days crying. I know that I will never forget her and I will always love the person I knew she could be.
Most people return because they see that inner person and they love them. They know their potential and want so bad to be good enough to help them, to be loved enough by that person for them to change.
The problem is that those people don’t love themselves enough to change, so no matter how much you love them, it will never work. And at some point you simply become an enabler, you keep going back and they see that they don’t have to change in order to get what they want.
I know time is not the answer i want to hear right now. It gives me no control and i want so badly to stop hurting. However, time DOES heal all wounds. I just have to learn what healing means for me and realize that healing isn’t forgetting or not caring anymore but recognizing how to deal with those memories and accepting them.